Friday, March 25, 2011

“FACT OR FICTION? or “In Blether, Veritas” or “Mea Culpa”

It appears that Queenslanders are even bigger thickies than we could ever have imagined.
No bloody wonder they keep putting up with the official manure being poured on their heads and can’t work out simple concepts like - “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Yep; Queenslanders believe in the Bible alright – the abridged version which says – “Do unto others, and be damned quick about it.”

Anyway – since publishing the last article (url above) yesterday evening we’ve received numerous communications verging on the abusive about our little parable.
Apparently it was “a vexatious diatribe against legitimate authority based on quite ridiculous concepts.”

From our point of view there was absolutely nothing in that article that is not factual except the chronological setting – of 50 years in the future.

Let’s analyse that –
Firstly, the heading image.
So Brizzo doesn’t exactly have some god-like head-in-a-bubble looking down watching everyone?

Want to bet?
Before you put your money down you’d better go ask those who have picked up an unexpected speeding ticket, a red light ticket, or who’ve been busted for taking a quiet leak around some corner, one dark night, in the city.
We’re sure the odd urban lurker, shoplifter, or pick-pocket would agree.
As for Brizzo and SE Qld becoming a ‘foreign owned fantasy playground for the wealthy’ –
It bloody well already is. Call it “Brizvegas” don’t they?
And like tinsel town, little bits break off and float away downriver with a bit of rain.

Damned right there are hundreds of thousands of honest decent Brisbanites putting up with the monstrosity their city has become, traveling for hours just to get to those two jobs too many of you need just to survive.
It is for all your sakes (or so the masters claim) that Brisbane already has a god watching you from above.

It ain’t some quaint old gentleman voyeur perving down on you from a bubble in the sky.
Voyeuristic it is and its thousands of eyes are up there on poles, in corners of rooms, in light fittings and suchlike everywhere.

Hoo boy – tempting to say at this stage something like – “Its name is LEGION and its number is 666” – but that would be gilding the lily.]

But this particular omniscient entity is the least interested in your soul.
It probably believes you don’t even have a soul.
Like so many others including those allegedly into ‘religion’ it’s the contents of your WALLET it wants in order to feed the numerous tiers of its masters and minions both.

On to the text –
The future scenario we compiled actually describes present fact.
Certain elements – repeat, CERTAIN ELEMENTS - of the Qld government DO have grave concerns about adverse outcomes of mining; especially with regard to groundwater toxicity resulting from coal seam gas generation.

This concern is supported by fact. Ongoing tests prove that a range of mining activities are resulting in such an increase in groundwater and watercourse toxicity as have already rendered significant areas of prime agricultural land “unsustainable”.

To know about the future bit – the big IF and WHEN – all we have to do is look at what has happened elsewhere.
The ‘look what’s coming out our kitchen water tap’ pikkie in the ‘National Geographic’ is a bit of a fright.

Farmers in the Midwest US with domestic bores once had crystal clear drinking water straight out of the ground.
Now they have green gunk that they can light with a match.
Some are even luckier.
Their taps leak radon gas.

So IF Q-Gov keeps plugging for miners and their temporary profits without regard for agriculturalists and the land – it will shortly come to a time WHEN the land annexed and pulverized by mining leaches so much poison into Queensland that crops n’ cattle will no longer be grown.

Oh, don’t worry thick Queenslanders, the land will still produce.
It’ll produce five legged, three eyed cows producing milk that’ll taste like turpentine and carrots that can be jammed in the sconce and lit like candles.

That’ll be handy, the carrots, when the gas runs out and there’s none left for all those ‘clean’ power stations.

The point we make at Calligula’s Horse is that our dear government does have standards to protect you, the citizen.
They’ll let your land be poisoned while they’ll also occasionally test your food for toxicity – leastways they’ll test EXPORT food for toxicity, or someone will.

And when that happens, when farmers lose their prime markets and be forced off the land – Queensland will need to be seen to be exercising a food security regime.
Queensland, in its inimitable style will therefore implement a ‘food police’ of some sort or other which, in the usual course of events, will become corrupted.

Precedent, disappearances, Qld ‘food police’ –
In the early 1960s two ‘fishery inspection officers’ began work in a Qld coastal town.
Like our QFP Qld food police they had a broad remit and were apparently granted arbitrary search and seize authority.
One extremely fine, clear, day shortly after beginning their duties in the district they went on patrol in their boat and were never seen again.
They and their equipment disappeared off the face of the earth never to be seen again despite riverine and sea conditions being pond-like for days after their disappearance.
It may or may not be apocryphal that they became ‘crab bait’.

Precedents, Qld authority, governance, justice, corruption –
Queensland usually reacts to contingencies by enacting punitive legislation, loaded with loopholes, overnight.
It is a moot point whether the loopholes have typically been intentional.

They most certainly SEEM intentional when placed in perspective with vested interests or when laws conflict with certain interests – so for example the aforementioned cityscape and highway panopticon – thousands of cctv and recording cameras cost millions in installation, operation and maintenance and probably provide little in real return or quality of life.

They certainly create another tier of ‘governance’ and make an entirely new environmental niche for  such societal parasites as live off  this regulation created victimless crime.
Note that lawyers, barristers and judges are specifically not mentioned.

Then Qld police in so many ways given authority over drugs, hotels and public venues, vice/prostitution, morals, firearms, vehicles and their configuration, livestock, entertainment, art, even public gathering have been required to exercise a narrow, repressive, punitive regime imposed by defective legislation and overzealous, restrictive, regulation.

All too much of their daily trade imposed by a close minded legislature has put them directly in the way of subsuming their core activity of apprehending criminals to regulating human activity in too many intrusive and resentment causing ways.

In the process of managing human activity by regulation numerous windows of opportunity for malfeasance are opened for the regulators as victimless crimes are created among the regulated.

Which is precisely why, as history ably demonstrates, too many police exceed their authority and/or become corrupt.

But what detriment have they caused in the process –
Well, we suggest you phone ‘em up and ask ‘em.

In the meantime while you’re deciding whether you have any outstanding traffic tickets have a read about some of their ‘blueys’.
  • Just the other day we had two women, a police sergeant and an ‘administrative member’ of the force arrested for serious allegations of drug dealing.
  • Certain police districts (including at least two headquarters localities) are found by the anti-corruption body to be thoroughly corruption compromised.
  • Meanwhile a police officer up on a fizzer for tazering a bloke to death – for actually keeping on zapping him ‘til he’s blue in the face explains to a sympathetic beak that he didn’t know tazers hurt and he’d never read the manual anyway ??
  • In other parts of queensland coppers tazer each other ‘for the fun and character building aspect’ of the activity.
  • Another police officer uses his knee as a kidney crushing lethal weapon and gets away with it.
  • Police are issued with a semi-automatic pistol (without a physical safety catch) at the same time state governments legislate against firearms in the community.
  • Incidents of police shootings increase dramatically after that date.
  • Meanwhile violent crime and property crime within the community reach epidemic proportions.

And just keep yourself posted; keep listening to the news and the scuttlebutt down at the local.
While police remain operating as a para-military organization authorized under legislation to apprehend criminals (and they are NOT empowered to fight crime) they will never cease being corrupted until the burden of politicized regulatory regimes is entirely removed from their sphere of influence.

Give us a break -
I doubt whether any of you comfortable bastards out there have a clue about how you are being manipulated by all this or muster up the emergy to even think about it for a few secs.

Countless thousands of you would love to roll up and smoke a reefer without the constant worry of having your door kicked in.
Even more of you would like to be able to have a bit of leeway with the drink drive laws so you can socialize within moderation and still drive home carefully afterwards without the worry of a court appearance.

Most parents realise they’ve completely lost the means to argue reason with their hormone driven and increasingly stoned offspring.
They’d love to dispense with the spiraling costs of increasingly arcane ‘counselling sessions’ and give the brats what they richly deserve – a good, loving, clout about their ears before someone else more capable and less forgiving sorts ‘em out.

It has to end sometime –
Life goes on and advances sometimes add complexity.
A reasonable person can see that legislators cannot just continue passing more legislation, amending the old and regulating every aspect of creation.

One government wants to put a tax on what is nothing more than a proportion of our expelled breath (they seem to forget that trees actually breathe that same gas in.
Meanwhile another government of the same alleged persuasion wants to destroy the very soil itself in order to harness and exploit what they call ‘greenhouse causing gases’.

One government wants to make life itself too expensive for the majority of Australians while the other wants to slip the misericorde between our ribs by denying us the ground we walk on, the water we drink and the very air we breathe by poisoning it for all time.

Further reading – Misericorde - Dagger of Mercy –

Thursday, March 24, 2011


Image –
Brisbane, AD 2061. The streets are busy, ‘The Deity’ is in his heaven grimacing down benignly, and all is well with ‘God’s own country. The scene seems old-fashioned to our eyes in 2011 but rapid advancement with some technologies have converted South Queensland into a fantasy retro-playground for the wealthy. In 2061 technology ‘permits’ a ‘God’ to float in a bubble in the hot Brisbane sky looking sanctimoniously down on streetcars and horse borne traffic but South Queensland is now totally foreign owned and the punishment for this sell-out must come from elsewhere than out of the sky.
‘Etherograph™’, compliments of “FuturamaScan ™ Corp.


By the year 2050 the refusal to accept that the excessive exploitation of ‘coal seam gas’ and mining had completely poisoned all agricultural land in southern Queensland - had forced a breach between southern and Northern Queensland.

The CNQ (Confederacy of Northern Queensland) under its charismatic but rather doolally dictator Benito (Benny) Spaglioni had seceded from the state of Queensland after the implementation of the ‘Qld™ Food Tax Act – 2048’.

The iniquitous food tax act supposedly granted the Brisbane government the right to determine any taxation rate they deemed necessary on food and farm produce.

A particularly despicable wrinkle in the act empowered the newly formed QFP (Queensland Food Police, Inc.) the sole right to visit producers, agents and sales outlets in order to inspect premises, collect taxes directly and to determine and dictate a rather overzealous and ridiculous food security regime dictated by the act.

A sweep of the QFP through North Queensland in March2049 had agriculturalists and their industry associates (including some of the few remaining mining interests who, by this time, were buying food for their crews directly from farmers) quite literally up in arms when it was discovered that through a few loopholes in the Act farmers were being coerced into paying a future tax (CPI adjusted) of 40 % ON THEIR NEXT YEAR’S CROP – either pay up or have their farmer’s licenses revoked immediately.

The QFP had initially spared no expense with their first sweep, sending in ten fully co-ordinated teams consisting of fifty armed officers per team.
Each team was equipped with five ASLAV type vehicles with full communications/GPS suite, pushbikes for silent reconnaisance and written orders requesting and requiring full co-operation from local police.

Everything went well for the QFP with their campaign along the Queensland coast and hinterland.
They’d greatly decreased the Qgov deficit and had caused only forty three casualties (17 arrests, 12 wounded, the rest you guess) among their ‘clients’ at the mere cost of only $23,476.34 in ammunition.

But by this time word had leaked out despite the Qgov’s iron hand about the throat of the media.
Canberra was concerned and the Premier of NSW, Delia Dooley, had been informed of desperate night time firefights along the NSW/Qld border between farmers and mysterious men in black clothing.

Delia Dooley was reported to have said “Can’t those stupid Queensland pricks read maps? Next time they pull that stunt – shoot ‘em and jam their heads on poles along the border – and don’t forget to point their ugly mugs in the direction of Queensland!”

Meanwhile further north the Qld fishing fleet was raising objections with the Qgov.
Mr Emil Rapportius, a high profile north Qld fishing identity had put his cards on the table in Brisbane and Canberra demanding that “this bullshit stop yesterday”.

Upon his return from Canberra (with a tacit agreement from his old schoolpal, Defence Minister Yasoof Mohammed, that the Navy would “most definitely not become involved in any way, manner, or form, by Allah”) Mr. Rapportius took his entire fishing fleet to sea.

With the entire Qld fishing fleet having apparently disappeared off the face of the planet a vindictive Brisbane government, following a midnight session introduced the the ‘Qld™ Food Tax Act – 2048 - Fishery and Amendment Act’ and the ‘Queensland Food Police; Naval and Extraordinary Powers Amendment act’.
As supplementary legislation these did not require the signature of the Governor of Queensland (She was (will be) under house arrest anyway; as a Farming Act license revokee.)

Meanwhile, the QFP were planning a raid on a cattle property a few miles west of Charters Towers.
They’d been up the coast as far as Cooktown, a little further north than their orders covered but they’d discovered a quiet little sideline of their own in the cannabis plots they’d found all over the place.
What they didn’t realise is that they’d been invading the patch of the local police; most definitely stepping, big time, on the toes of the wallopers and their mates in the cash-crop industry.

So, as it happened, Inspector Tadeutz Rimer of the QFP was having a beer with Qld Police Sergeant Bruce (Bilious Bruce) Bilsen in the officer’s mess bar in what recently was the Charters Towers Rehabilitation Centre before it was commandeered by the QFP.
Naturally, after a stressful day winkling cash out of farmers, one beer was leading to another.
Bruce was having more than enough trouble with his conflict of interest working out what he was going to say to Benito Spaglioni after today’s cannabis raids but what was really making Bruce Bilious was the horrormovie that was replaying before his eyes after today’s events.

“Hey Tadeutz; what’s a beautiful, brown eyed, blonde honey like you doing with a name like Tadeutz?”
“Why do you ask, Bill?”
“Bruce, my name is Bruce.” says Bruce, wondering if that slip meant she already knew his nick-name amongst his hooch growing pals.

And seeing it was one of his hooch growing pals he’d seen lose the top of his head with an incredibly fast double tap from this Tadeutz’ 10mm Glock this afternoon it might be best to consider the slip as a warning.

“Well, Bruce, Tadeutz is a boy’s name where I come from but Grandpapa only wanted grandsons after he’d gone into exile. He discovered my sex when I was about ten years old and went ballistic. My family had to leave Croatia and move here. We had to change our name too. Anyway Gaddafi still wasn’t a very popular name here in Australia.”

OOOHhhh shiiitt! What the hell have I got myself into this time? Thinks Bruce as he polishes off the last of his beer.
“Well, it’s getting late and we have to be up at sparrow’s fart. See ya at 0300 sharp.” Says a now stone cold sober Bruce as he resists breaking into a run for his cruiser.
As history will prove, Bruce never returned that night to his police station.
A rapid stop at the closest hydro station had his cruiser’s fuel state topped up and a fast drive had him slipping quietly and thankfully into Benny Spaglioni’s driveway three hours and six hundred kilometers later.

“Hey Bilious, you bloody idiot, whatt’re yo doin’? If I hadn’t picked yo up with the NVG those ‘tyre deflation devices’ inna driveway would’ve been through your seat and pokin’ out your shoulderblades. Phone first next time, eh.”

Image –
A rare etherograph of a QFP pushbike reconnaissance element the morning of the Charters Towers Incident. Shortly after this shot (in virtual time) some form of eheric interference precluded (or will preclude) capturing further images.
What is known, and information is (or will be) sketchy, is that the 50 man QFP raiding force at Dooley Station (owned by Delia Dooley’s grandfather) disappeared without trace.
It was only three weeks later that crab pots found in the Hervey Bay littoral proved to contain what was left of the raiding party. By the time DNA testing was deemed to be conclusive what will be known as the ‘Bundaberg Line’ was declared and the CNQ (Confederacy of Northern Queensland) had seceded.
‘Etherograph™’, compliments of “FuturamaScan ™ Corp.

And so followed a rapidly conducted dialogue followed by some discretely  encoded telephone conversations the length and breadth of northern Queensland.
What (is to) become known as the Charters Towers incident happened two hours after Bruce arrived at Benito Spaglioni’s compound in Port Douglas.

After the disappearance of the QFP party at Dooley Station the entire QFP force was concentrated at Charter’s Towers, a form of martial law declared, the Queensland police dragooned into the support role and the ADF requested to provide support for the civil power.

The Brisbane regime thrashed about for several days naming names and allotting blame while the ADF had a complete and total equipment failure.

Meanwhile Emil Rapportius had returned with his fishing fleet.
As the heavily laden trawlers cruised southward down the Queensland coast one or two of them would peel off and cruise into each port along the way.
 Eager waiting hands (oftentimes cranes, given the bulkiness of some of the cargo) would rapidly unload and distribute the ‘catch’ and by those means the major populated regions of North Queensland were (will be) secured for the citizenry.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

“BLOODY MINDEDNESS IN QUEENSLAND” – or “How to keep the press and environmental scientists happy.”

Image –
Spy camera capture – preparations for an invitation only, Q-Gov garden party/press conference. Smith’s ™ Crisps, Palm’s ™ Condiments and straws - out of camera.
Queensland has always known how to give the public the best angle on what their wayward and completely corrupt government is up to behind the public’s back.
Sometimes it can be a real chore trying to explain how a drug crazed cop might keep tazering a bloke until he was black in the face and stone, cold dead.
When this sort of thing happens our government calls in the press for a conference.
Government, on these occasions, pulls out all the stops to ensure – to absolutely ensure the press are completely au-fait with the situation and satisfied beyond doubt that the government has done no wrong.
In this regard an old, tried and true process first established by the illustrious Bjelke Joh Petersen is brought into play.
He called it “Feeding the chooks”, gave them a line of guff along with mucho really good food but nothing more alcoholic than orange juice (back then booze and smokes were cheap but good, really tasty, food was almost non-existent).
These days the reverse applies, what with wowser governments and absolutely zealot NGO lobbyists – when the press absolutely have to believe (like when their jobs depend on it) what government says – then they definitely need a good drink.
Where was I? – Right. The above image was taken just before the police minister was explaining to the press how a dead person kept on being tazered until smoke was coming out of his ears..
Now, admittedly the constable might have gotten away with his excuse of ‘bad training/he hadn’t read the manual’ – except for the fact that he’d flattened the batteries in the third tazer he’d borrowed off his colleagues before he ran out of hormones and puff.
Indeed, it is times like these the press conference and the government trough pumped full of ‘rare single malt’ moonshine whisky comes into play.

Well, other than that there’s not a lot left to say about that subject.
Everyone knows that Q-Gov is corrupt and the press is compromised beyond recall.
But now, dear reader, you know the extent of the collusion.
Imagine what it looks like in the cold light of dawn – that trough lined with the supine, twitching bodies of once proud, incorruptible journalists fighting the fog and trying to remember what was said – what THEY’D said the evening before.

As for the environmental scientists – they’re happy with their lentils and cold bean soup.

They care less about the compromised journos killing themselves living a lie.

No doubt they’ll pretend that the coal seam gas fiasco in Queensland won’t destroy our best agricultural land for all time while they pray that Gillard will prevail with her tax on nothingness as stupid and potentially as destructive as Dutch tulip futures and the South Seas Bubble.


Image –
“Always treat a small, unimportant area that is usually out-of-sight before washing the entire surface.”
Arthur was only using tap water and couldn’t find any instructions on the hose nozzle.
He decided to give the tail a good hose down before climbing up to do the wings.
He’d just gone forward to give the hubcaps and oleos a squirt when he heard a funny sizzling noise behind him.
“Shoot”, says Arthur I’m glad I didn’t wash the Hardly Drivable first!”

As I write this the temperature is 37 degrees C.
I’ve just taken a sip of cool tap water, gagged, and thrown the rest of the glassful out the door.
Oh it looks good, sparkling clear most of the time but tastes vile.
Today, the chlorine concentration is so high that you can smell a running tap five metres away AND a sip of the corrosive stuff burns the back of your throat.

Maybe its payback following the grand council amalgamation in Qld

My little town always used to have beautiful water unlike the coastal township next door.
Their water was so bad that it might as well have been pumped directly out of the Pacific Ocean directly above one of their sewage outlets.
Their petty, conniving politics was as bad as their water.

Then following Beattie’s ‘undemocratic council amalgamation without referendum’ and the forced conjunction of that shire with my city they’ve completely shagged the administration, politics and costs structure of the entire regional council as something closer to urine than water flows erratically through our pipes.
Naturally, along with the reduction of services and disappearance of quality with what little remains of traditional services – those few remaining services cost a fecking fortune.

And infinitely more importantly why the hell should we be paying a fecking fortune for something killing us en masse.
As the man says here – he’s straight arrow enough to believe in water treatment with chlorine in the correct concentration – repeat, chlorine in the correct concentration.

Further reading -

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

“ANOTHER COUP IN AUSTRALIA” and/or “The Dowager Prime Minister?”

Image – Long years in office wearing the regalia of premiership and look what happens to poor old Joh.
All explained below.
The scars caused by the GOGB 1st class are not evident but the terrible strain of wearing the chain of office is there for all to see.
Notice the concentrated stare (or as concentrated as could be possible, given the circumstances) leftwards opposing the awful rictus of his jaw to the right caused by the chain of office. Stuck with wearing the modern electronic equivalent of what caused this is it any wonder why laborite premiers act so right wing?

We must be prescient -
This was going to be a short article about the last coup d’ etat in Canberra.
('%C3%A9tat – definition, coup d’etat – for your convenience)

Inspiration for the original article followed the usual snowjob about the subject on ABC radio yesterday evening.

But since then certain political elements in God’s own country have decided to stage their own pre-emptive mini-putsch. (It’s about mediocrity – Qld has mini-roundabouts, mini-cyclones and even a mini-unicameral parliament)

As most Queenslanders are aware ‘what passes for governance’ in Queensland has matched Paul Kruger’s Transvaal too closely for comfort.
About the only difference is that we somehow accidentally sacked our old fuhrer, Johannes Bjelke Petersen, before he managed to declare war on the rest of the country.

But things have “moved on” since his day –
(the incumbent premier of queensland is automatically vested with the ‘Grand Order of the Golden Blinkers, 1st class’ and is consequently required to wear it/ them in office.
Unfortunately the GOGB 1st class IS in fact a pair of bronzed, gold plated horse blinkers robbing the wearer of any ability to see sideways, backwards, up or down whatsoever.
Other significant items in the PoQ’s*regalia include what is allegedly a ‘chain of office’ but is in fact what is known in the equine industry as a ‘curb bit’.
It is said by those in the know that a qld premier in full fig is a sight to behold and that this is the reason why all government decisions are made ‘in camera’ or in the middle if the night.
It may be apocryphal that Mr Bjelke Petersen’s tendency to run off at the mouth with a startled expression on his face was in result of his gleefully dispensing with the burden of the regalia of premiership for press conferences and the like.
With the approach of the electronic age a way was found to miniaturise the official regalia.
Contact lenses replaced the GOGB 1st class and a small electronic device based on the police tazer is taped to the premier’s chest under clothing.
For this reason the PoQ is these days bound to wear the modern miniaturized regalia 24 hours a day, seven days a week – in some ways like poor Julian Assange and his electronic manacle.
To avoid the embarrassment of being tazered in front of the public she has arranged a series of catch-phrases and mottos such as “moving forward, let’s not look back –  we’ll put that behind us, shall we - no, I haven’t seen that - I can’t say any more on this subject and – that’s before the courts; I shan’t comment”.
Some claim to have seen an occasional glimmer in the premier’s eyes recently Mistakenly interpreted as emotion it is actually the Pavlov reaction to the slight buzz caused by the electronic curb bit being activated by the premier’s ‘minder’.)

Well there you have it reader; an exclusive, a scoop, an expose’ of the real reason why the CEO of the Qld apparatchiks never speaks sense when asked a direct question.

Given this situation anyone wanting to be premier would either be a complete masochist, have rocks in the head – or both.

Yet we have Mr. Campbell Newman evidently dissatisfied with merely being Lord Mayor of Brisbane coming out of the closet and like the Japs at Pearl Harbour staging what he hopes is a pre-emptive strike for the job.

It appears not to matter that –
  • He’s still mayor of Brizvegas
  • He hasn’t yet gained pre-selection –
  • Nor has he stood for election –
  • Nor gained a seat –
  • Nor sought the confidence of his peers in politics –
  • Nor gained their approval by ballot

But a person could go on for quite a while listing the negatives of the scenario

Let’s look at the positives.
Mr. Newman has proven once and for all that public office is NOT for the community rather for and about the individual super-ego of anyone, by whatever means expedient, being able to claw their way into public office.

Term, tenure, trust, decency, confidence simply don’t matter.
Some would see their chance to be Lord mayor as touching the glittering prize.
It appears that Mr. Newman has picked up Brisbane like a toe rag, used, then discarded it.
Yet all he does, according to his own lights, is stretch ever so slightly what Madame Gillard and her co-conspirators pulled off a few months ago.

Do as thou will’t -
·         An it harm none, do what thou wilt
·         An it harm none, do as thou wilt
·         That it harm none, do as thou wilt
·         Do what you will, so long as it harms none
- is a message completely beyond the comprehension of either Newman or Gillard.

All of which brings us back to the ex-prime minister who, in the same way as the late Queen Mother, holds more affection among the populace than does the incumbant.
The once Queen had to become the Dowager Queen.

Kevin Rudd was made to stand aside by way of a coup. The Queen Mother and Empress of India CHOSE to stand aside.

When choice is lacking, overruling custom and precedent we have a coup.
Nonetheless we have a Dowager Prime Minister, of sorts, despite the coup, in Mr. Kevin Rudd.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

“THE GENIE IN THE BOTTLE” – or who’s gonna get to uncork the Colonel?

Image –
“Don’t startle ‘im Joe – it’s almost full”
With the greatest respect for the memory of a great artist – Bill Mauldin – who, were he alive today, would see yet another generation of soldiers fighting over valuable resources for scurrilous, venal, reasons at the flimsiest of excuses.

We’re idiots at Calligula’s Horse.
We sometimes contribute comment to other weblogs.
Often, hours of work results in someone telling us that we know diddly squat about the subject – that our poor effort is incomprehensible/ indecipherable – that we’re paranoid conspiracy theorists – or just plain old-fashioned trolls.

So while having yet another editorial meeting at our new, flood-proof, workplace (six sets of water-wings installed in the first aid cabinet) Django was leafing through some folios of political cartoons.
“Here it is” he exclaimed “I’ve been looking for this one. All this hate going on in Libya and the need for an illustration for the article.”

“But what has that to do with Libya?” – asks A NON FARMER.
“Yeah, been smokin’ dried banana leaves again, have ya?” – Arthur enquires helpfully.

“No blockhead; it’s the same old game, only with a new twist” – replies Django.
“Look at this cartoon. A couple of American troops trying to figure out how to capture something they want. If they startle the enemy he drops what they want.
They have the power to kill the German soldier if they need to but they’ll probably lose the booze.”

Arthur shrugs dismissively – “So what?”

A red faced Django glowers at Arthur – “We pay you an allowance ‘cos you make a good cup of tea, Arthur – the other reason is that if we can get an idea into your head and publish it on the strength of that there is no excuse – no bloody excuse at all for some dolt out there in cyberspace to say he doesn’t understand what’s been published – okay?”

NnnnnnnnnnHhhhhh !?”

“Arthur, just keep your cool and pretend those two seppo grunts in the cartoon are in modern Libya. The German is really a Libyan soldier loyal to the colonel and the bottle in his hand is full of Libyan oil – in fact the bottle holds ALL the Libyan oil.”

“Couldn’t it’d all spill out !” – bawls Arthur.

“Jeeesus wept Arthur – it’s a POLITICAL cartoon – an abstract graphical concept. The bottle is something the Yankees want. Bill Mauldin probably intended it to mean that when he first drafted it.  Two against one from a situation of surprise represents the US against Germany then. The bottle represents what the US want from the German nation. The problem is that the German nation might decide to smash the bottle in order to deny the US that resource – or even worse – there might BE something in that bottle that, if frightened too much, the German nation could use against the US and allies.”

“Ooohh, like what Gaddafi’s likely to do then in Libya when he gets too pissed off.” – contributes Arthur.

“Yessss Arthur” – as Django collapses in frustration, sobbing over the table.

Transcript of comment, Calligula to John Passant -

“A few weeks back I wrote –
“If anyone bothers to parse my words they’ll come to understand I do not want to see North Africa once again a playground for armour, nor any other play of the last cards of another collapsing empire squandering millions of lives.”.

Yet it has happened.
I am half way through reading “The Boer War” by Thomas Pakenham.
It ain’t your schoolboy history despite featuring Baden Powell.
Amazing parallels.

Empire in decline – resources – strategic location – a need to foment disunity amongst a stratified populace – and a desire to wage opportunistic war – a few amoral characters placed well enough to bend history to their whim.

Gaddafi now, like Kruger then, a central player about to be run out in this innings of the ‘Grand Game’.

Nothing ever bloody well changes, does it?
Paul Kruger in Africa acting like some Gaddafi/Bjelke Petersen composite – a balancing act playing one major power off against the other – meanwhile treating the majority of his populace like serfs in his satrapy corrupted beyond recall.

Oh yes – Kruger’s Transvaal – operationally, somewhat like Libya and attitudinally, very much – too much like Queensland, Australia.
Joe Chamberlain pretends to want moderation while his Viceroy Alfred Milner (the model for John Buchan’s protagonist for evil, “The Thirty Nine Steps”), in collusion with what we’d call ‘capitalist resources interests’, schemes for war.

Does British public opinion demand war?
The reverse in fact. An apathetic public have to be driven toward an opinion by the press.
As in Queensland, the chooks (Joh’s name for the press) have to be fed in order to tell the public what they need to think.
One or two rash actions and the odd error of judgement on Kruger/Gaddafi’s part and – Bingo, war.

Any of this sound familiar?

The worldwide yearly budget of British Army intelligence in 1898 was a piddling 20,000 pounds and the War office didn’t even have a casebook of operational scenarios for war in South Africa. There were months of thrashing about before British soldiers were properly mobilized – similar to the build up before Gulf Wars 1 and 11.

So come on John –
Tell me how it could be this one outstandingly remarkable difference between Kruger’s treatment and Gaddafi’s – that the no fly zone was declared only a few hours ago and already he’s being stonked comprehensively?

Only an idiot would reject the obvious – that decisions have been made, funds/ resources/ manpower allotted and deployed months ago and dedicated to Gaddafi’s fall.
But meanwhile the neighbouring states of Egypt and Tunisia needed to be neutralized before the master stroke.

Gee, they’re getting bloody good at this sort of thing.”

Further reading -

Saturday, March 19, 2011


IMAGE – Emma ran away in stark terror when she saw this pikkie. She hates guns despite never having met one. Poor Emmie’s employer exempts her from handling Tasmanian stories ‘cos ‘Gunn’s’ is mentioned so often. Yep; Emmie works in an ABC newsroom despite her abysmal spelling.
For those interested, the rifles top to bottom – cal.303 Lithgow (oh yes, LITHGOW) carbine – Cal.303 RIC pattern carbine – cal.303 SMLE heavy barrel range rifle – cal.7.7mm Schmidt Rubin (one of the few that’s never been used as a cricket bat & has original owner’s namecard under the buttplate)

The decision was made some time last night (Australian time)17 March, for a ‘no fly zone’ over Libya.
Once that had been decided, Australian opinion has to be bent toward being on the side of the OzGov approved ‘good guys’.

And the best way of mustering that opinion is to convince Australians that ‘good Libyans’, revolting Libyans, are ecstatic about military intervention and in consequence countless thousands of them are letting rip with a feu de joie.

That must have been the justification for the sound recording of a 50 cal browning machine gun being fired into a berm (or some target not far from the firing point) accompanying Peter Cave’s radio news report this morning. (most shots fired into the air don’t produce a target impact signature a fraction of a second later)

An isolated incident?
Of course the ABC is notorious for getting sound effects and details wrong but any old sound bite will do when the cash strapped and technically challenged ABC want to get a story out.

Their recent documentary attempt about the St Patrick’s Battalion, Irish soldiers fighting for Mexico in 1848, had for sound effects the whiplash report of modern high velocity rifles rather than the authentic hollow thump of musketry of the era.

So what, who cares – it’s only a docco. Everyone’s entitled to a few technical mistakes.

Fair enough. Maybe they didn’t have soundtrack of musketry in their files; or maybe ‘Emma, the studio gofer’ hates guns so simply chose the nastiest gunfire tape she could find in the 30 seconds it took her to become terminally offended with the task.

Or is it that a gender lopsided, politically correct, ABC no longer employs anyone possessed of any breadth of life skills or technical knowledge?

Nitpicking; but that is the point -
The ABC still pretends to be a government entity with some sort of code of ethical practice which a reasonable person could expect to relate to accuracy in content.
Their task is to educate, inform and keep society au-fait with danger.
All of which is a duty of care increasingly being abused through omission or misinformation.

Is it at all important for the media to do their best to ensure technical accuracy in news reporting and documentary production?

Put it this way –
Q - Did anyone who was of the military, of a shooting club or knowledgeable of firearms fall victim to whatever happened at Port Arthur?
A – No.
Q - Why?
A – Firstly, probably because they wouldn’t be impressed with the sort of tawdry masquerade of faux troops popping off reproduction muskets at that tourist trap.
They’d avoid the overpriced dump to save money for target practice - but had they been there the significant difference between the dull report of a blank firing musket and the distinctive crack of a modern high velocity rifle would have immediately put them on their guard the second they heard it.

The lemming syndrome –
Hollywood does it so well. There’s that same old take of a disaster crowd scene yet again.
They all stand stock-still – or mill about shrieking until, at the whim of the director, they all rush off directly towards the maximum danger.
Yet this is exactly what so often happens in real life situations involving crowds and unexpected events.
Just like at Port Arthur.

A conspiracy theorist might easily contrive a scenario whereby the mainstream media are colluding with movie makers to keep the masses misinformed about risky situations.

Risk management; educate the public -
So doesn’t the ABC and their mates in the media have a moral duty to report everything technically accurately, whenever possible, right down to the background noises a person might hear if caught up in a dangerous situation?

We’ve had some bad weather in Oz. lately -
The ABC have been commendably good about advising the public to avoid crossing flooded roads and the like.
In that regard they seem to be able to call upon information and advice from a wide range of expertise.
The problem with the ABC’s approach is that it marches in step with the ‘lowest common denominator’ line taken by authority.

The other side of the coin –
Stay there – don’t move – if you move, you’ll be punished. This is the message declaimed by authority and willingly disseminated by the news media and the movie industry.
In so many ways we have been denied or lost contact with the cues that once offered we humans ‘situational awareness’.
In any given scenario a person cannot exercise appropriate risk management procedures if they are neither attitudinally situationally aware nor aware of inherent risk.

Please read -

Which gives the above cynical conspiracy theorist the opportunity to say –
“Well of course, my boy; it’s all a conspiracy doncha know. One stupid, punitive, past government once gave little boys uniforms, sharp knives and enough knowledge of fieldcraft for them to grow up to be good little soldiers. This stupid, punitive, government wants ‘em all to grow up to be useless bloody sheep – then forces ‘em to stay that way all their lives.”

Some more reading -