Thursday, March 24, 2011


Image –
Brisbane, AD 2061. The streets are busy, ‘The Deity’ is in his heaven grimacing down benignly, and all is well with ‘God’s own country. The scene seems old-fashioned to our eyes in 2011 but rapid advancement with some technologies have converted South Queensland into a fantasy retro-playground for the wealthy. In 2061 technology ‘permits’ a ‘God’ to float in a bubble in the hot Brisbane sky looking sanctimoniously down on streetcars and horse borne traffic but South Queensland is now totally foreign owned and the punishment for this sell-out must come from elsewhere than out of the sky.
‘Etherograph™’, compliments of “FuturamaScan ™ Corp.


By the year 2050 the refusal to accept that the excessive exploitation of ‘coal seam gas’ and mining had completely poisoned all agricultural land in southern Queensland - had forced a breach between southern and Northern Queensland.

The CNQ (Confederacy of Northern Queensland) under its charismatic but rather doolally dictator Benito (Benny) Spaglioni had seceded from the state of Queensland after the implementation of the ‘Qld™ Food Tax Act – 2048’.

The iniquitous food tax act supposedly granted the Brisbane government the right to determine any taxation rate they deemed necessary on food and farm produce.

A particularly despicable wrinkle in the act empowered the newly formed QFP (Queensland Food Police, Inc.) the sole right to visit producers, agents and sales outlets in order to inspect premises, collect taxes directly and to determine and dictate a rather overzealous and ridiculous food security regime dictated by the act.

A sweep of the QFP through North Queensland in March2049 had agriculturalists and their industry associates (including some of the few remaining mining interests who, by this time, were buying food for their crews directly from farmers) quite literally up in arms when it was discovered that through a few loopholes in the Act farmers were being coerced into paying a future tax (CPI adjusted) of 40 % ON THEIR NEXT YEAR’S CROP – either pay up or have their farmer’s licenses revoked immediately.

The QFP had initially spared no expense with their first sweep, sending in ten fully co-ordinated teams consisting of fifty armed officers per team.
Each team was equipped with five ASLAV type vehicles with full communications/GPS suite, pushbikes for silent reconnaisance and written orders requesting and requiring full co-operation from local police.

Everything went well for the QFP with their campaign along the Queensland coast and hinterland.
They’d greatly decreased the Qgov deficit and had caused only forty three casualties (17 arrests, 12 wounded, the rest you guess) among their ‘clients’ at the mere cost of only $23,476.34 in ammunition.

But by this time word had leaked out despite the Qgov’s iron hand about the throat of the media.
Canberra was concerned and the Premier of NSW, Delia Dooley, had been informed of desperate night time firefights along the NSW/Qld border between farmers and mysterious men in black clothing.

Delia Dooley was reported to have said “Can’t those stupid Queensland pricks read maps? Next time they pull that stunt – shoot ‘em and jam their heads on poles along the border – and don’t forget to point their ugly mugs in the direction of Queensland!”

Meanwhile further north the Qld fishing fleet was raising objections with the Qgov.
Mr Emil Rapportius, a high profile north Qld fishing identity had put his cards on the table in Brisbane and Canberra demanding that “this bullshit stop yesterday”.

Upon his return from Canberra (with a tacit agreement from his old schoolpal, Defence Minister Yasoof Mohammed, that the Navy would “most definitely not become involved in any way, manner, or form, by Allah”) Mr. Rapportius took his entire fishing fleet to sea.

With the entire Qld fishing fleet having apparently disappeared off the face of the planet a vindictive Brisbane government, following a midnight session introduced the the ‘Qld™ Food Tax Act – 2048 - Fishery and Amendment Act’ and the ‘Queensland Food Police; Naval and Extraordinary Powers Amendment act’.
As supplementary legislation these did not require the signature of the Governor of Queensland (She was (will be) under house arrest anyway; as a Farming Act license revokee.)

Meanwhile, the QFP were planning a raid on a cattle property a few miles west of Charters Towers.
They’d been up the coast as far as Cooktown, a little further north than their orders covered but they’d discovered a quiet little sideline of their own in the cannabis plots they’d found all over the place.
What they didn’t realise is that they’d been invading the patch of the local police; most definitely stepping, big time, on the toes of the wallopers and their mates in the cash-crop industry.

So, as it happened, Inspector Tadeutz Rimer of the QFP was having a beer with Qld Police Sergeant Bruce (Bilious Bruce) Bilsen in the officer’s mess bar in what recently was the Charters Towers Rehabilitation Centre before it was commandeered by the QFP.
Naturally, after a stressful day winkling cash out of farmers, one beer was leading to another.
Bruce was having more than enough trouble with his conflict of interest working out what he was going to say to Benito Spaglioni after today’s cannabis raids but what was really making Bruce Bilious was the horrormovie that was replaying before his eyes after today’s events.

“Hey Tadeutz; what’s a beautiful, brown eyed, blonde honey like you doing with a name like Tadeutz?”
“Why do you ask, Bill?”
“Bruce, my name is Bruce.” says Bruce, wondering if that slip meant she already knew his nick-name amongst his hooch growing pals.

And seeing it was one of his hooch growing pals he’d seen lose the top of his head with an incredibly fast double tap from this Tadeutz’ 10mm Glock this afternoon it might be best to consider the slip as a warning.

“Well, Bruce, Tadeutz is a boy’s name where I come from but Grandpapa only wanted grandsons after he’d gone into exile. He discovered my sex when I was about ten years old and went ballistic. My family had to leave Croatia and move here. We had to change our name too. Anyway Gaddafi still wasn’t a very popular name here in Australia.”

OOOHhhh shiiitt! What the hell have I got myself into this time? Thinks Bruce as he polishes off the last of his beer.
“Well, it’s getting late and we have to be up at sparrow’s fart. See ya at 0300 sharp.” Says a now stone cold sober Bruce as he resists breaking into a run for his cruiser.
As history will prove, Bruce never returned that night to his police station.
A rapid stop at the closest hydro station had his cruiser’s fuel state topped up and a fast drive had him slipping quietly and thankfully into Benny Spaglioni’s driveway three hours and six hundred kilometers later.

“Hey Bilious, you bloody idiot, whatt’re yo doin’? If I hadn’t picked yo up with the NVG those ‘tyre deflation devices’ inna driveway would’ve been through your seat and pokin’ out your shoulderblades. Phone first next time, eh.”

Image –
A rare etherograph of a QFP pushbike reconnaissance element the morning of the Charters Towers Incident. Shortly after this shot (in virtual time) some form of eheric interference precluded (or will preclude) capturing further images.
What is known, and information is (or will be) sketchy, is that the 50 man QFP raiding force at Dooley Station (owned by Delia Dooley’s grandfather) disappeared without trace.
It was only three weeks later that crab pots found in the Hervey Bay littoral proved to contain what was left of the raiding party. By the time DNA testing was deemed to be conclusive what will be known as the ‘Bundaberg Line’ was declared and the CNQ (Confederacy of Northern Queensland) had seceded.
‘Etherograph™’, compliments of “FuturamaScan ™ Corp.

And so followed a rapidly conducted dialogue followed by some discretely  encoded telephone conversations the length and breadth of northern Queensland.
What (is to) become known as the Charters Towers incident happened two hours after Bruce arrived at Benito Spaglioni’s compound in Port Douglas.

After the disappearance of the QFP party at Dooley Station the entire QFP force was concentrated at Charter’s Towers, a form of martial law declared, the Queensland police dragooned into the support role and the ADF requested to provide support for the civil power.

The Brisbane regime thrashed about for several days naming names and allotting blame while the ADF had a complete and total equipment failure.

Meanwhile Emil Rapportius had returned with his fishing fleet.
As the heavily laden trawlers cruised southward down the Queensland coast one or two of them would peel off and cruise into each port along the way.
 Eager waiting hands (oftentimes cranes, given the bulkiness of some of the cargo) would rapidly unload and distribute the ‘catch’ and by those means the major populated regions of North Queensland were (will be) secured for the citizenry.

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